Do you find it challenging to say NO most of the time? It’s difficult, but based on my own experience, it’s a skill that can be learned. I’ve always been a really “nice” person, meaning I’ve always agreed to almost everything, even if reason and my inner mind said otherwise. Especially related to work, I’ve had to learn the art of saying no and allowing myself some real downtime.

We humans are different in this regard; some express their opinions and desires aloud from a young age, while others just go along with the flow. Upbringing likely plays a part, but so does the personality one is born with. Fears also play a role. If you say no, there’s fear of consequences, such as losing your job if you decline a task, or losing a friend if you don’t go out together. Will a loved one get angry if you don’t help right now? There are many situations. Life isn’t just about pleasant activities, but you don’t have to agree to everything!

Everyone has to do things in their lives that are outside their comfort zone and not enjoyable. These could be everyday routines and tasks that simply need to be handled. Additionally, daily life tends to bring these extra demands that can truly burden and disrupt normal life if you don’t know how to say NO without feeling guilty. It is genuinely everyone’s right to say no, I can’t make it now, or I just don’t have the energy, without elaborate explanations.

If you always agree to everything – requests from friends, family, acquaintances, and work-related tasks that are not part of your normal routines – stress follows. There’s always something to do and somewhere to be for someone other than yourself. Your well-being and peace of mind get lost somewhere, and you no longer know how to hope for their existence when your mind is filled with annoyance and disapproval towards those making demands. And anxiety. How to Learn to Refuse?

I’ve personally learned to say a kind of NO when necessary through practice. Sometimes, years ago, when I noticed I was too stressed because my mind was occupied 24/7 with work and other matters, I decided that there’s a limit – I won’t continue like this. Gradually, I started experimenting with having my own opinions and deciding where I put my time and how. And lo and behold, I noticed that life didn’t go haywire! I haven’t lost anything by deciding my own schedule.

Small Tips for Setting Your Own Boundaries

• When someone asks you for something, reflect on your own feelings. Do you immediately feel distressed by the request, or do you feel that you’re happy to help?
• Can you decide how and when to handle the matter? It often helps if you can decide the schedule yourself.
• For immediate requests that completely disrupt your planned schedule for the day, you can say no – unless someone’s life or livelihood is at stake! Of course, in the professional world, there are exceptions now and then.
• What situations immediately tighten your nerves? Those are precisely the ones you can try to cut down on in the future.

What are the consequences of sticking to your own limits?

In my experience, the consequences are not bad; rather, they’re good. However, we humans are so different that not everyone experiences change without some confusion or even anger from their close circles. Consider in advance how to present the matter to each person if you plan to refuse. For some people, presenting the matter may require more justification, but on the other hand, excessive explanation is unnecessary – it’s about your own well-being. Just stay firm. Sometimes demanding situations turn the too kind person (like me) into a situation where they promise to do “just one small thing,” which quickly escalates, and here we are back in trouble. STAY FIRM!

I believe and assure you that most people in our close circles understand if you say no – just that now you can’t and need to give yourself some time. Someone who gets angry about this probably has a slightly bigger problem themselves.